Holding on to the Bitter End

And boy is it bitter. Sales seem to be slowing, just at the time they should be speeding up. I wanted 180 installs for the summer, and now it looks like I'll be lucky to hit 140. That is a difference of thousands of dollars for me. I'm still making more than I would have in Provo, but not anywhere near the amount I was expecting to get. But I have also sacrificed my social life for this job as well. I'm on call from noon to 9, so if I start something and then get a job, I have to drop what I'm doing and go. So I haven't gotten to know anybody very well here. I can't wait for the summer to be over. At least then I can start having a social life again.

Making and Breaking

I told my friend that I would come to his wedding open house. I told him weeks ago. But my company will not let me take the time off. This is partly because I didn't ask for it off when I told my friend that I would be there. I finally asked earlier this week. And the answer was that they couldn't afford to let me go for the weekend in the busiest office in the company. Except this has been a slow week, but the chance could be that there will be a lot of work to do. A chance. That is the part that gets me. So much depends on things that are beyond my control. But if I would have asked two weeks ago, I would probably be going. So a lot depends on me too.

I found out that I have the second most installs in Denver, and rank 7th in he company. This with one of the longest install-time averages in the company. One of my friends here has consistently had shorter install-times than me yet he has 15 fewer installs. I don't understand how that can be. It's all about timing I guess. Now he is thinking of going back to Provo. If he does, that'll mean more work for me (Yuck) and that means more money (Yay). It would also mean 1 less friend in a place where I don't have time to cultivate new friendships. So I have mixed feelings about it. But he has to do what is right for him.

Impressive

The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...
[cut to Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik]
The Impressive Clergyman: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...
[cut to the trio again]
The Impressive Clergyman: So tweasure your wuv.
Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?
[cut to the trio once more]
The Impressive Clergyman: ...and do you,Pwincess Buwwercup...
Prince Humperdinck: Man and wife. Say man and wife.
The Impressive Clergyman: Man an' wife.

It's funny, another friend just got married, and right around my birthday. That makes three now. It seems that of the original UP 11 boys, only the Mallard and I are left standing. The oldest and the youngest of the group. Mallard, I hope you like June weddings, cause that seems to be the trend. Ol' Hungry Eyes is the one outlier of the group getting married in September.

Another year has come and gone, c'est la vie.

Negativity

I have been feeling rather negative lately. It is a self-perpetuating state of mind to be in. I have started a couple posts tonight that had derisive, sarcastic, and otherwise dark observations. One didn't post because my network connection failed, and I noticed how disparaging my last one was going. I am glad I caught it before it was published.

Peoples is Peoples

I meet new people every day here in Denver. Everyday another security system to install in another home. I haven't had to install a system for any jerks yet *knock on wood*, though I think most people get concerned when an installation goes much over 5 hours. Most do not go that long anymore thank goodness. I get most done between 4 and 5 hours. That is for our wireless system. Our hard-wired systems take substantially longer. It mostly depends on how well the system is labeled before I get there. If it is not well labeled then it takes really long.

As I was saying I meet a lot of new people all the time. Most are nice, most are interesting. I had one install in an Indian home on Saturday. It smelled so good, like curry. They were watching some channel that was all Indian programming. As I was working, I overheard some music from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! I mentioned that I had seen that movie and they were very surprised. I had to tell them of my good friend the Masked Mallard and how he is in their home country for the third time. I didn't make any comments on how I felt about the run time of film. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I still feel if you cut out all the dance/music numbers you will have less than half of the movie. ;)

As for meeting people at church, that is going more slowly. We actually had been going to one singles ward thinking it was the only one in the area. We have since learned that there are several, almost one per stake. Not only did we learn there was others, but that there was one that was much closer to the apartment.

Well, in the first ward we went to, we started to get to know this one group of girls. One of them likes one of us. But her friend and I don't mesh real well. We went over to the friend's house earlier this week, and started working on a puzzle. I started turning all the pieces face up and laying them out in one layer on the coffee table. I work on a puzzle maybe once a year, so I don't know all the secrets of proper puzzle completion. Apparently, you are supposed to remove all the side pieces first without the middle pieces to get in the way. I was separating the side pieces, just keeping all the pieces on the table. The girl gave me a hard time about this, which made me want to push on the way I was going. But when pressed again, I told her she could remove the middle pieces if she wanted. She did not and told me I could continue the way I had been proceeding. At the first she was not an active participant, so I didn't hear too much more on the subject. After about 45 minutes, she decided to sit down and work on it. Again she gave me a hard time about my puzzle method and questioned how often I worked on puzzles. I reminded her that she could remove the middle pieces if she wanted, and again she declined, but she did not drop her criticism. I said we could start over if she wanted, but she said you never restart a puzzle. When she asked if all the edge pieces were out I started to say we had the corner pieces, but stopped myself to say that I thought we did have most if not all of the edge pieces out. But she cut in and ridiculed the fact that we had the corner pieces saying that was only so much help. Now this girl is rather sarcastic most of the time, but I could not tell how much she was joking and how much she was serious. She does puzzles all the time and has the completed ones hanging around her place. So when she made her remark about the corner pieces I had had enough. I felt I was being backed into a corner, and I could only see two situations, bith being unpleasant, but one worse than the other. So I got up and told my friend it was time to go. He thought I was joking, and maybe I was a little. But then she made a remark about my sensitivity, so I really did want to leave. I played my displeasure up higher than it really was, which makes me feel bad. I need to apologize. But I still feel a twinge of offense when I think about the situation. I feel it would be hard not to make some remark about how I felt I was treated.

I think I can forgive and move past this, but I don't particularly want to pursue a friendship with this person. Is that wrong? I feel the situation could continue if I made myself available for more social interaction with her, just based on our personality types. We probably would not have gotten into the situation if we weren't operating in conjunction with our friends. I'm not sure how to remedy the situation.

Expectations Miscalculated

Well, this has been a lot harder and more frustrating than imagined. I'm sure things will be fine in a little while, but right now it sucks. sometimes 14+hr workdays, no time to eat, and not a lot of support from anyone knowledgable (sp?). Now I know what the phrase 'thrown to the wolves' is reffering to.

Denver

Made it to Denver safe and sound.