I was once asked if I was intimidated by girls that are accomplished, meaning someone that graduated from college, has a real job, and may have their own house. I can't remember exactly what I said at the time, but here is what I think now. I don't feel so much intimidated, as inadequate. I mean, right now, I am 28, live at home, am still in school, and haven't had a job since December. I am actually quite interested in 'accomplished' women. I just don't feel like I have much to offer someone at the moment besides my winning personality and dimpled smile. And now I have some anecdotal proof for my thinking. Last Sunday I was in the clerks office, after the block of meetings, when the second counselor's wife started up a conversation with me. She has a strong matchmaker's spirit to her. She told me there was a girl in the ward that asked her about me. She wanted to know if I was still in school, and of course I told her that I was. Well, apparently my educational status immediately disqualified me from her search. This girl has graduated from school, and is only looking for guys that are in the same stage of life as she is. I told Sis. Matchmaker that I only had a year left, so if this girl was still around next August she could look me up.
I've been thinking about this for a week now, and I want to change my reply. I'd like Sis. Matchmaker to give Mystery Girl this message. If she is still around and single next August when I am scheduled to graduate, then she can go suck an egg for all I care. Apparently, she doesn't want to support someone through school. Last time I checked my criteria for what I was looking for in a spouse, neither breadwinner nor meal ticket made the list. I'm just hoping to find someone that will love me as much as I love them. What if Mystery Girl and I otherwise make a good match? Then this girl and I will be losing a year of getting to know each other. But if a piece of paper makes that big of a difference to someone, maybe we wouldn't make such a good match after all.
I'm sorry that it took me almost nine years to find something that I really liked to do. Maybe it would've been better to push through my old course of study and be miserable in my line of work, at least then I might've been able to get a date.
7 comments:
It sounds like the dating scene isn't too hot right now and I'm sorry. That really stinks. I'm sorry that what was said hurt you - and I can understand why - she doesn't know your situation, she doesn't know YOU. I wish I could wave some magic wand and make it all better. I can't.
Well...I have two thoughts for you. First, if you ever actually tell any woman to "go suck an egg" I will come kick you in the shins - that just doesn't sound like you!!! You're too nice (which is one of your finer qualities, might I add).
Second, and more importantly, I'm sensing some frustration and negative vibes ...so bear with me in my ramblings.
You, and those who really love you and care about you, know that you have been through a lot of ups and downs and that you have finally found a major that makes you happy. Not only that, but it's something that you are really, really good at and that, I have no doubt, you will excel in. The problem is that this senorita was working via said matchmaker, when really, she should just get to know you. Now, if she wants someone in her "stage of life" that's her prerogative, we all have our qualifications, but quite frankly, she's missing out by limiting her dating pool that way.
PLEASE don't feel bad about what you're doing. I'm glad you're doing something you like. You are fantastic and the type of woman who is worthy of a man like you will take the time to get to know YOU before making any date/no date decisions.
See, now I'm totally rambling. I know that doesn't fix the dating issue at present...., but I just wanted to remind you that there are a lot of people who care a lot about you - I could make up a little song and dance if that would help. :)
Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone to go suck an egg. Doesn't mean I don't feel like it though. ;)
I am frustrated, but a lot of that is at myself mostly. I worry too much, and I don't really put myself out there. So it is my problem, not so much anyone else's. But this kind of stuff doesn't fill me with much confidence.
Support from friends though, that IS helpful. And a little song and dance could go a long way :)
So many slightly inappropriate things to say... But mostly, I know that you're a wonderful man with a lot to offer. And any girl who doesn't care to find that out doesn't deserve you. Her loss. Not yours. :)
As a 28 year old female RM, BYU graduate myself, I want to first of all say how much this post made me laugh. I only say that because when i first read your response to Sister Matchmaker, myinitial thought was "Whatever-that girl is way lame!" So I was happy to read your later response. However,I would like to point out that #1 said girl may someday find herself coasting through life unemployed, directionless, etc. That little piece o paper called a degree does not guarantee eternal happiness. I once was at an "accomplished stage," but ultimately it did nothing for my day to day happiness. Any girl who makes "prerequisites" for a relationship..doesn't deserve to ever be in one. THE END
Here's the song (think 50's do-wap) and Wood is in charge of the dance! ;)
Song notes:
-For the ** fill in your name
-You have to say "graphic" really fast
-I know you don't really do the cow skit anymore, but it's one of my favorite memories - you're just good at being funny.
He's so nice and he's so cool
Right now he's in graphic design school
He's a die-hard fan of BYU
And he used to do a co-ol cow skit too
He's **, doo-doo, doo, doo, da-doo
Woah **, doo-doo, doo, doo, da-doo
*You're just going to have to imagine the dancing ....
LOL, literally I laughed out loud. Thanks, that's great!
I'm glad you got over your feelings of possible intimidation/inadequacy!
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