Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Potentially Unanswered Question
"Mr. Owl, How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
"One...Two...Three...Crunch!!! Three."
How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.
So there is this really nice girl in my ward. I've known her since September or so. Ever since we were first introduced she has been quite friendly to me. More so than I would have given her credit for based on my initial impression. I've felt like asking her out for a long time, but for various reasons I have not. Mostly I have felt like she is out of my league, on a number of levels. She has always been very friendly, but recently she has seemed more than just friendly. There has been some playful banter, and a little of what I percieve to be flirting. I like the thought of that.
However, it has been observed that she is a genuinely nice person. I am not saying the being genuinely nice is bad, on the contrary I find it to be an asset. But it does make me wonder about what I have been percieving. Am I projecting false intent on her actions, or is it really there? If I was staying in Provo, I could really put this to the test, but I am not. I am leaving in less than a week and will be gone for four months. I have alot to do before I leave. I wonder about trying to put this to the test before I go, but what good will it do me? If I find that I am imagining things, no harm done. But if I find that I am not, there is nothing to be done about it. I can't start a relationship and then leave, and expect that feelings are the same when I return. Neither do I think it wise to change my plans at this point based on the chance that something serious COULD develop. I NEED the money that I can make this summer in Denver. I do not want to jeopardize the chance to go back to school without having to work at the same time. Especially if it weren't to work out. As it stands, I've not been in a relationship that lasted more than 2 months.
And I still think she is out of my league. Not that she is 'high maintenance' in her attitude, but I think she is accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Also, I feel she has it together spiritually, more so than I do at the moment. Not that she is condecending, like I said she is genuinely friendly. But I feel inadequate. Yet I also hate the idea that she may be interested, but because I don't do anything about it now, her interest will wane. Frustration.
"One...Two...Three...Crunch!!! Three."
How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.
So there is this really nice girl in my ward. I've known her since September or so. Ever since we were first introduced she has been quite friendly to me. More so than I would have given her credit for based on my initial impression. I've felt like asking her out for a long time, but for various reasons I have not. Mostly I have felt like she is out of my league, on a number of levels. She has always been very friendly, but recently she has seemed more than just friendly. There has been some playful banter, and a little of what I percieve to be flirting. I like the thought of that.
However, it has been observed that she is a genuinely nice person. I am not saying the being genuinely nice is bad, on the contrary I find it to be an asset. But it does make me wonder about what I have been percieving. Am I projecting false intent on her actions, or is it really there? If I was staying in Provo, I could really put this to the test, but I am not. I am leaving in less than a week and will be gone for four months. I have alot to do before I leave. I wonder about trying to put this to the test before I go, but what good will it do me? If I find that I am imagining things, no harm done. But if I find that I am not, there is nothing to be done about it. I can't start a relationship and then leave, and expect that feelings are the same when I return. Neither do I think it wise to change my plans at this point based on the chance that something serious COULD develop. I NEED the money that I can make this summer in Denver. I do not want to jeopardize the chance to go back to school without having to work at the same time. Especially if it weren't to work out. As it stands, I've not been in a relationship that lasted more than 2 months.
And I still think she is out of my league. Not that she is 'high maintenance' in her attitude, but I think she is accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Also, I feel she has it together spiritually, more so than I do at the moment. Not that she is condecending, like I said she is genuinely friendly. But I feel inadequate. Yet I also hate the idea that she may be interested, but because I don't do anything about it now, her interest will wane. Frustration.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The Problem with Cows
I've never seen a purple cow.
I never hope to see one.
But, I can tell you anyhow;
I'd rather see, than be one!
A few years ago, I started performing a little skit. It was meant to be done at a church talent show, but the event was overbooked, and I was too nervous to do it anyway. But I'd worked so hard to get it memorized, that I wanted, needed, to do it for some people. My friends let me subject them to my performance not knowing what they were in store for. Though I messed up a little, it was a resounding success. Or perhaps it has turned out to be a disaster. Not a real disaster, but a "Ha ha, the joke's on you!" kind of thing. It was a success, because everyone loved it. It has proven to be disasterous because...everyone loved it. They wanted me to do it again. They wanted me to do it when they introduced me to new people. They wanted me to do it at parties. I didn't want to be known as the 'cow' guy. So I refused. And when my friends' requests became fervent, so did my refusals. But every once in awhile I would pull it out again. One, because it is a fun skit. And two, because I now have it memorized, so it's easy. But every time, the cycle begins anew. Everyone loves it, so they all want me to do it again. Or they tell people about it who weren't there for the performance. That is the worst. Knowing that it has been hyped up for these people, knowing there is no margin for error. I don't do it at the drop of a hat, but somehow I let myself be talked into doing it again, if only for special occassions. Why don't I learn?
I never hope to see one.
But, I can tell you anyhow;
I'd rather see, than be one!
A few years ago, I started performing a little skit. It was meant to be done at a church talent show, but the event was overbooked, and I was too nervous to do it anyway. But I'd worked so hard to get it memorized, that I wanted, needed, to do it for some people. My friends let me subject them to my performance not knowing what they were in store for. Though I messed up a little, it was a resounding success. Or perhaps it has turned out to be a disaster. Not a real disaster, but a "Ha ha, the joke's on you!" kind of thing. It was a success, because everyone loved it. It has proven to be disasterous because...everyone loved it. They wanted me to do it again. They wanted me to do it when they introduced me to new people. They wanted me to do it at parties. I didn't want to be known as the 'cow' guy. So I refused. And when my friends' requests became fervent, so did my refusals. But every once in awhile I would pull it out again. One, because it is a fun skit. And two, because I now have it memorized, so it's easy. But every time, the cycle begins anew. Everyone loves it, so they all want me to do it again. Or they tell people about it who weren't there for the performance. That is the worst. Knowing that it has been hyped up for these people, knowing there is no margin for error. I don't do it at the drop of a hat, but somehow I let myself be talked into doing it again, if only for special occassions. Why don't I learn?
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Riding in Car[s] with... Myself
Since I be came the sole owner of my '93 Honda Accord at approximately 4:30pm today, I haven't had the chance to have anyone else in MY car. My dad gave me a car a few years ago, but it was still legally his car. I thought of it as my car, but it was still his. This is MY car and it feels good. Granted there are all the responsibilities that come with it, but that doesn't change the fact that I like it. And it looks nice. I like it better than my old car. It sits higher which is nice, it has a peppy little engine, plenty of room, and it has power everything! Or at least power everything for a '93. The seats aren't powered, but that's about it. I'm going to have to work to keep the interior as nice as it is now. The good news is that alot of the dark smudges I noticed on the exterior will wash off. And I really enjoy the feeling of independence it gives me. I can come and go as I please, which sets my mind at ease in social situations. It allows me to relax knowing that if I want to I can go at any moment, and in relaxing I am more likely to stay. And I don't have to take 'my ride' into consideration. "I'd love to stay and talk, but it looks like my ride is leaving, sorry." It's a real good feeling.
Monday, April 9, 2007
On the Road Again... and Other Thoughts
I will soon be leaving the ranks of transportationally challenged! Hopefully my loan will be approved today and I can take possession of my "new" car on Tuesday. I am purchasing a '93 Honda Accord, 5-speed manual transmission and power everything! The car is in as good of shape as a 14 year old car could be expected to be in. No more bumming rides from people, independence will be nice. And much more expensive, but oh well. Nothing in this life is free, you just have to decide if the price is worth it.
As for the 'Other Thoughts' portion, I just watched a video at my Mom's place called The Secret, and it is all about the power of positive thinking, feeling, and visualizing. But one of the things they talk about is the power of gratitude. That if we find and express gratitude for good things in our lives, no matter how little of those we think we have, more good will come our way. The video talks about a 'gratitude rock' to carry around with you. Not that there is any inherent value in the rock itself, but whenever you feel the rock in your pocket, you think of the things you are grateful for. It reminds me of the 'prayer rock' from Seminary or Primary. You know, the one you put on your pillow so when you go to bed you hit your head and then remember to pray. Then you put it on the floor, so in the morning you step on it and pray before doing anything else. I never really considered the 'prayer rock' as something practical, I'd just put the rock on the shelf and forget about it. But I think I'll try this out.
I was somewhat skeptical of this video, and at first it seemed to be all about taking things into your own hands and not relying on anything, or anyone, else. But while alot of what they talked about left God out of the equation in word, it did not specifically say to take Him out in practice. Just about everything they talked about could be practiced within the framework of religion. So I'm going to try and put some of these things into play, and we'll see what happens.
As for the 'Other Thoughts' portion, I just watched a video at my Mom's place called The Secret, and it is all about the power of positive thinking, feeling, and visualizing. But one of the things they talk about is the power of gratitude. That if we find and express gratitude for good things in our lives, no matter how little of those we think we have, more good will come our way. The video talks about a 'gratitude rock' to carry around with you. Not that there is any inherent value in the rock itself, but whenever you feel the rock in your pocket, you think of the things you are grateful for. It reminds me of the 'prayer rock' from Seminary or Primary. You know, the one you put on your pillow so when you go to bed you hit your head and then remember to pray. Then you put it on the floor, so in the morning you step on it and pray before doing anything else. I never really considered the 'prayer rock' as something practical, I'd just put the rock on the shelf and forget about it. But I think I'll try this out.
I was somewhat skeptical of this video, and at first it seemed to be all about taking things into your own hands and not relying on anything, or anyone, else. But while alot of what they talked about left God out of the equation in word, it did not specifically say to take Him out in practice. Just about everything they talked about could be practiced within the framework of religion. So I'm going to try and put some of these things into play, and we'll see what happens.
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