Monday, March 23, 2009

What A Difference a Week Makes

So, there's this girl. She's relatively new in the ward here. I started talking to her after FHE several weeks ago now. It was just friendly, get-to-know-you kind of stuff. Then I started sitting by her at church. It started out as, "I need a place to sit, there is an open spot on the aisle, so I'll sit there." I talked with her after FHE the next week. We seemed to be connecting on certain things, but I thought she dominated the last hour of our conversation. I wasn't sure what that meant. I kept sitting by her at church. I talked to her again after FHE last week, but this time she let me dominate the conversation. So I figured asking her on a date was long over due. She had plans for friday, but was open on Saturday. Except we had stake conference this weekend. Well, we could do something after the Saturday evening session. Then her Friday plans fell through. So we bumped up our plans a day. We spent all night talking at her place.

We still had conference to go to the next night, so we kept the plan to go together.  This is where things changed.  We'd been scooting a bit closer together throughout the first part of the meeting.  And then she asked me a question:

"Could you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, absolutely.  What do you need?"

"Could you put your arm around me?"

It wasn't what I had expected, but I wasn't about to turn her down.  

We've now done something every night since then. This has all gone kind of fast for me. I've been in somewhat of a similar situation before, however. Some of you may know something about another girl I dated a few years back named Linda. That went really fast. Ever since Linda and I broke up, I've been really cautious about girls. Too cautious. I felt like I needed to be absolutely sure about a girl before I even asked her out. But that took so long that the moment passed and nothing happened.

This has been fast, but not as fast as with Linda. This has been different. I feel like taking this chance has been validated, at least so far. I don't want to jump to any conclusions.  I just want to see where this new situation takes me. It's been awhile for me, and this feels pretty good so far.

5 comments:

Tim said...

Glad you're not being as cautious anymore.
She's not moving fast for the same reasons that Linda was moving fast, is she? Because if she is, you may want to be cautious.

Cougarg said...

No, she's not coming directly off another relationship like Linda was. But I don't know all the reasons why Linda was going so fast, as we never had all that good of a communication line.

Am and I have been open about things. We talked about kissing, and how I think that I need to wait some more before I kiss her. I told her that I need to be more certain before I take that particular step. And she said that was ok.

One thing that I haven't told her, though, is that I've wanted to kiss her since our first date. We're are extraordinarily comfortable with each other. And as such, I don't want to put us in a danger situation by adding kissing to the mix too early. It has only been five days since our first date.

TPlayer said...

Get rid of Linda...even in your mind. No more comparisons. This is horrible, but think of them like a menu item-Say you're at Applebee's...you order something, it may or may not be the greatest thing you've ever had in your life, but you have to keep trying different items on the menu.

This new girl is a completely different "menu item" than Linda. yes chicken is chicken and a hamburger is a hamburger and a woman is a woman, but just think of all the different ways chicken can be served. Just because your order came out "fast" again, doesn't mean the level in which you enjoy it will be the same (or not the same)as Linda. Does that make sense? I think I need lunch-apparently I'm hungry. :)

Cougarg said...

Interesting analogy. I see your point. Am certainly isn't Linda. They've been prepared quite differently. However, as much as I might enjoy one dish over another, I will still compare the second dish to the first, no matter how hard I try to forget the first one. The first one colored my perception in a way that allows me to see the second in a way I couldn't appreciate any other way. But you are right, I need to minimize the comparisons, and appreciate Am more for who she is, and not for how she is similar to or different from Linda.

Amber said...

Interesting reading....