The Resurrection

This post was begun before the strike of Christmas Eve, I swear!

Yesterday, I spent the day participating in the funeral services of my mother's business partner.  I know that he had health problems that severely limited his way of life and capacity for certain kinds of work near the end of his life.  Which it sounds like was really hard for him, since he was such a hard worker.

The services were good.  His best friend growing up spoke, as did a friend that he mentored for several years.   A recurring theme of the services and in conversations throughout the day was about the work he would be able to accomplish on the other side.  And then the work he would be able to do upon the resurrection.  No more physical limitations, infinite capacity for activity.  No more health problems.

I am grateful for my relative health, but I know that eventually something will start to go wrong.  How reassuring it is to know that a time will come for perfection.  That illness and ailment will fall away.

A Little Rant and BG4

A friend shared this link on Facebook today. It's a debate between an atheist and a Christian pastor, moderated by a journalist for Newsweek.

I'm not particularly a fan of debates like these. It is like Alma and Korihor - he said, he said. Nothing the one says is going to convince the other on the points that they differ on.

Mr. Harris is quite poisonous IMO. He insists that morality and altruism can be achieved without faith. Mr. Warren attributes that need that most people have for doing good to be from God. Mr. Harris cannot deny that people feel that need for purpose, because to do so would alienate his audience. But he can get them to deny the existence of God. And that's really all the Adversary needs to get his foot in the door. He doesn't need to dismantle people in one blow, he can do it a little at a time.

I just think it is funny that atheists deny the existence of God for scientific reasons, i.e. there is no proof that he exists. Einstein could not countenance the possibility of particles smaller than the atom, and yet when technology advanced, there is no denying that there are in fact protons, electrons, and neutrons. And a few years later, they discovered that there are parts smaller still, quarks and muons and such. Einstein's theories have been left behind because they cannot account for quantum mechanics. But to tell him all that we now know and say, take my word for it, he'd never believe, or at least have a hard time believing it. But you would know that you were right. Science has a way of cannibalizing itself as new discoveries are made, out with the old, in with the new. Just because we cannot see atoms and electrons and muons, does not mean they are not there. Just because we choose not to see evidence in God, does not mean he is not there. What the scientific community knows, or thinks it knows, today will not be what it knows in a year, let alone a decade or a century.

I also think it is silly for people of religion to dismiss science. Just because Hawkings' A Brief History of Time was not written by Moses or Paul and included in the Bible does not make it a lie. To say that God took 65 million years or longer to create the earth instead of snapping his fingers or wiggling his nose like a pop culture wizard, does not take away any of the awe and wonder we should have in the Creation.

And I was wondering what I was going to be grateful for today! I am grateful for my faith. I am grateful that it is not exclusionary. I am glad that rationality has a place in my belief system. But also that all the competing theories and breakthroughs and changes in scientific understanding will not whip me about like a boat on a stormy sea. All the theories and mysteries of the universe are secondary. They are fun to think about, but are not necessary for me to comprehend even a fraction, as long as I have faith in God and the Atonement of His Son.

Being Grateful II

I'm thankful for the ward I attend. Tim has posted about what makes a good ward on his blog, and I made comments on what I thought. I felt like the wards that I attended in Provo got progressively better. Maybe it was my understanding of how wards worked that grew, maybe I just matured, or maybe they actually were better. Anyway, when I moved to this area last year, I was not thrilled to be starting at yet another singles ward. I was coming off a rough patch after my time in Denver and New York, and it took me a while to warm up to the ward in Lehi. The ward was big and I felt kind of lost in the crowd. Also, my first impression of that bishop was way off base, but I didn't find that out for three months though. Just when I found out my bishop was a good man that I could trust, the ward was dissolved. Arrgghh! Another new ward, and another new bishop to feel out. It hasn't turned out so bad. Despite not being in a ward with my best friends anymore, this ward rivals the last couple of Provo wards. There is nobody in the ward that I dislike, and many that I like a lot. And the bishop is great. I feel that he was drawn to this place by the Lord to be called as the bishop of this ward at this time. He is a spiritual giant, and a soft-hearted, sensitive, sometimes silly man. I've made many good friends here, people that, under different circumstances, I'd never think to be friends with.

Being Grateful in the Face of Adversity

So, on top of my mother's divorce proceedings, we found out today that her business partner passed away on Saturday. This is a mighty blow as he was the money handler and technical wizard behind their web business. He had been in poor health for some time, but they had never made a contingency plan if one of them died or otherwise could not continue. She had no access to the company accounts, nor any clue on how to take care of the technical end of things. No one can take his place, only he knew how everything on their site fit and worked together.

It seems like the hits keep coming lately, now the new ones come before the old ones are over.

Which brings me to the subject of this post. How can we stay grateful in the face of adversity? How did our pioneer forebears handle the excruciating sacrifice of traveling to the Salt Lake Valley? Dealing with the loss of loved ones, how were the early saints able to press forward? Why didn't they just curl up and die, or turn around and head back home?

Sometimes, it is easy to be grateful, it doesn't really take any effort. But other times, we need to be willfully grateful. We need to look explicitly for things to be grateful for. What I want to do is post everyday until Christmas. Each post will include one thing I am grateful for. I'm hoping that by the time Christmas comes, the gratitude I show then will be easier to express than it is at the moment.

I'll make this one easy:

I am grateful for my family that loves me, and who I love as well. No matter what comes against us, we have one another. Right now, my mom is taking the brunt of these challenges, so I try to support her. in the past and in the future, it'll be me who takes the brunt, and I'll require her or my brother for support.

Good Sometimes

A comment on the previous post made me think about a conversation I was a part of the other day. My mom and I were talking with our neighbor about parenting (I was mostly listening). And my mom mentioned how sometimes when she would get mad at me and my brother, she would yell, and sometimes scream. And then she would feel terrible, like she was a failure, that she wasn't a good mother. One day when I was very young, she was feeling particularly bad about her perceived failures when she walked in on me watching Mister Roger's Neighborhood. I was singing a version of a song I heard on the show. I have included in it's entirety at the end of this post. I sang:

Sometimes kitties are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same kitties who are good sometimes
Are the very same kitties who are bad sometimes.

Sometimes mommies are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same mommies who are good sometimes
Are the very same mommies who are bad sometimes.

A lot of times, we think in terms of black and white. Things are either good, or they are bad. When we do good things we feel we are on top of the world. But when we make bad decisions, we forget or discount the good things that we have done, and we just focus on the bad things. We can bring ourselves down pretty low, even to the point of feeling worthless. I think it is hard for us to reconcile the fact that good people can make bad decisions, especially within ourselves. Even Nephi of old dealt with this issue. "Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul greiveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me." (2 Ne 4:17-18) See the rest of 2 Nephi 4 because it has a lot to do with the rest of the post.

I think it is important to remember we have dual natures. The classic cartoon representation of this is a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. We need to realize that we are good, we just make mistakes. We need to realize that the good advice we give each other is the same advice we need to follow in our own lives. When people compliment me, one of the first things I do is think, "If only you knew about X, if only people knew." I know I am a good person, but reconciling that with my bad choices is hard to do. I'm not saying that we need to accept the bad, live with the bad, wallow in the bad. What I think we need to accept is that we are good. Live with the good. Wallow in the good. We have a great aid in doing this. We celebrate his birth in about 3 weeks. We need to trust in Him. I don't say this because I am particularly good at it, because I'm not. But It's what I would tell anyone else, so why shouldn't I follow it?

So I want to ask what you think. What do you do to reconcile the differences within yourselves? And if you have a hard time doing that, what advice would you give me? And then I would challenge you to turn around and follow that advice.

Again, here are the lyrics to the song I sang a real long time ago. It helped my mom remember that she was not a bad mother. Hopefully, it will remind you that you aren't bad either.

Sometimes People Are Good

Sometimes people are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same people who are good sometimes
Are the very same people who are bad sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

Sometimes people get wet.
And their parents get upset.
But the very same people who get wet sometimes
Are the very same people who are dry sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

Sometimes people make noise
And they break each other's toys.
But the very same people who are noisy sometimes
Are the very same people who are quiet sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

Sometimes people get mad
And they feel like being bad.
But the very same people who are mad sometimes
Are the very same people who are glad sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

Sometimes people are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same people who are good sometimes
Are the very same people who are bad sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me...
Isn't it the same for you?

© 1967 Fred M. Rogers

Stones

I went to a play last night called Stones. Actually, it was two one-act plays. I didn't know anything about it before going, just a few lines on a poster about it being about family. So I thought it was about a family named Stone, or something else other than what it turned out to be. The production was very minimalist, but that allowed the power of the performance to be on full display. There are 4 more showings at the Covey Center for the Arts in Provo, UT, so if you find yourself that way tonight or next weekend, check it out. Tickets are normally $10, but I picked up a discount card that'll get you $3 dollars off per ticket.

I didn't know what I was in for at all. If you are looking for something light, this isn't it. There is some humor in it, just enough to make you appreciate that you are watching real people, but the subject matter is very serious. Some of the themes concern death, sacrifice, obedience, love, and family. Not for the faint of heart, but very powerful and touching in turns. I totally recommend anyone in the area to see it. I don't want to say too much about the plot, but it is very rewarding and I am so glad I saw it.

Daily Obedience

So, staying on target with my resolutions hasn't been easy. One thing or another inspires me for a day or two, and then I start slipping back into old habits. I spoke with my bishop the other day, and he said we had to decide to do what was right every single day, no matter what. That seems daunting, but I think it is possible, it has to be. So I was wondering what you, my intrepid readers, had to say about staying on task. When things are difficult, what do you tell yourself to hold on for a little more?

Standing For Something

It is said that a prophet is never appreciated in his own time. We read over and over in Scripture how the prophets of old were persecuted, reviled, and slain by the people of their generation, and then are revered by later generations. I think it was because those prophets were not around anymore to disagree with the people, so they could be interpreted any way that suited the people.

I think by and large that while we don't revile and stone our modern prophets in such visible ways, many still turn a deaf ear to their words. It may not even be an active or wantonly purposeful decision to ignore them, but people let their lives get in the way. So much is going on that no lingering thought is given to their words.

President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away on Sunday, January 27, 2008. As I listened to KSL radio on my way to school the next day, I started to realize that while I loved hearing him speak at conference time and other occasions, I was just as guilty of ignoring the prophet as the people I have described. He was the prophet of my teenage years and early adulthood. I don't recall much of General Conferences before he was called. Much of my spiritual thought has been triggered and shaped by his words and deeds, and yet for all that, still I did not fully appreciate what it meant to have a living prophet. It was easy to say that I followed the prophet because I stayed away from much of the negative influences of the world while growing up. But President Hinckley was not really about the 'don'ts,' he was about 'doing'. And that's where I feel I have always lacked.

Recently I have posted that I want to break the lesser patterns of my life. To honor President Hinckley and his message is to continue with my goals. But I need to add to those goals. Within a few short days, the next prophet will be set apart. I challenge myself to follow the next prophet in the manner that I should have followed President Hinckley, not just at conference time, but everyday, in everything. If you feel a little bit like I have, then I challenge you to do the same.