What Am I So Anxious About?

Or is this just the effects of food poisoning?

I'm feeling something, whatever it is.

It's against my recent policy, not that I've been good at following it in the past, but I feel like I've got to say something to release the tension inside me. There's a girl. Before you jump to conclusions, I haven't even asked her out yet. But I am picking up some positive vibes from her, and have all summer long. And I want to reciprocate.

Why has it taken so long, why have I put off all summer what I felt to do back in May? No good reason, especially considering my recent post about wasting time. I was still getting over the departure of my ex-girlfriend in May, and my car was out of comission until last month. I didn't have a lot of contact with this girl in august, so I imagined that her interest had probably waned. I shouldn't have worried. After the party over at her place last night, I have no doubt she is still very much interested.

She's a few years older than me, and in the past I would've never even considered someone that much older. But I find that, in her case anyway, her years help her appreciate my life path, rather than look down on it. She's been a teacher going on five years now, but it seems she has had just as meandering a path as I have followed. She's intelligent, funny, caring, and respectful of others. She's also pretty patient, the fact that she hasn't given up on me, despite my inaction, tells me that.

But I am nervous. I am almost certain she'll agree to go out with me once I ask. But it has been awhile since I asked anyone out. And if the vibes I am detecting are true, it could get serious quickly. I'm just afraid that I am getting ahead of myself again. I tend to do that, and then I go into freefall when things don't work out.