Christmas Wishes

Painting by Jon McNaughton

Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

The Resurrection

This post was begun before the strike of Christmas Eve, I swear!

Yesterday, I spent the day participating in the funeral services of my mother's business partner.  I know that he had health problems that severely limited his way of life and capacity for certain kinds of work near the end of his life.  Which it sounds like was really hard for him, since he was such a hard worker.

The services were good.  His best friend growing up spoke, as did a friend that he mentored for several years.   A recurring theme of the services and in conversations throughout the day was about the work he would be able to accomplish on the other side.  And then the work he would be able to do upon the resurrection.  No more physical limitations, infinite capacity for activity.  No more health problems.

I am grateful for my relative health, but I know that eventually something will start to go wrong.  How reassuring it is to know that a time will come for perfection.  That illness and ailment will fall away.

Tabling Things For Awhile

Why is it easier to talk about things, i.e. feelings for another person, after the potential for a relationship with that person is cut off? I do know why, because there is no more risk involved, there is no more pressure. But why does it have to be that way? Ever since people developed finding pools of more than one, it has been this way. Wouldn't it be easier and more effective if it was no big thing to know how much interest someone had in you from the beginning? That it was no big deal to be perfectly honest with another person about your feelings for them? People wouldn't be getting their hopes up just to be dashed later on, they would know right away.

Instead, we all play this game, whether intentionally or not. He complimented me this way. She touched me here. He helped me do this. She sat next to me at the party. He didn't make eye contact. She sounded bored. It just goes on and on.

It has to be for some reason though. Every single person has to deal with it to some extent or another. It's not like it is some unique phenomenon to one person. So obviously, it must be important to the human experience... somehow... It's "opposition in all things" in action. Help people appreciate something truly good when it finally works out. Well, if that's the case, then I know some people that are going to be seriously appreciative at some point. Because I've been picking up this theme a lot recently, from quite a few different sources.

Actually, based on the timing of things falling apart for me, again, I know exactly what is going on, for me at least. It's a test. A test that I've been given time and time again. One that I haven't exactly passed with flying colors. It's either: a girl comes into my life and motivates me to get things straight, or I've decided to get things straight and then a girl comes along. Either way, they are taken away to see how I react. Will he keep doing the things he needs to for the right reasons in the absence of the girl? And unfortunately, I don't have a great track record to this point. But then, if I did, maybe I wouldn't be given the test as often, if at all. So now I am more cognizant of this particular test, I should be expecting the girls to start lining up soon, right? But I'll still have to deal with the game though. I certainly can't expect that to change all of a sudden.

Oh yeah, I've missed a couple of days of gratitude posts. Trying to catch up feels intimidating at this point though, so I'm not going to try to do so today. I'll just do one for today.

I'm grateful for second chances. And third chances. And fourth chances. And Umpteenth chances. Everyone deserves another chance. I'm grateful for all the chances I've been given. Life would be too depressing otherwise. I'd never have hope for something good. Everyone deserves something good, right?

A Little Rant and BG4

A friend shared this link on Facebook today. It's a debate between an atheist and a Christian pastor, moderated by a journalist for Newsweek.

I'm not particularly a fan of debates like these. It is like Alma and Korihor - he said, he said. Nothing the one says is going to convince the other on the points that they differ on.

Mr. Harris is quite poisonous IMO. He insists that morality and altruism can be achieved without faith. Mr. Warren attributes that need that most people have for doing good to be from God. Mr. Harris cannot deny that people feel that need for purpose, because to do so would alienate his audience. But he can get them to deny the existence of God. And that's really all the Adversary needs to get his foot in the door. He doesn't need to dismantle people in one blow, he can do it a little at a time.

I just think it is funny that atheists deny the existence of God for scientific reasons, i.e. there is no proof that he exists. Einstein could not countenance the possibility of particles smaller than the atom, and yet when technology advanced, there is no denying that there are in fact protons, electrons, and neutrons. And a few years later, they discovered that there are parts smaller still, quarks and muons and such. Einstein's theories have been left behind because they cannot account for quantum mechanics. But to tell him all that we now know and say, take my word for it, he'd never believe, or at least have a hard time believing it. But you would know that you were right. Science has a way of cannibalizing itself as new discoveries are made, out with the old, in with the new. Just because we cannot see atoms and electrons and muons, does not mean they are not there. Just because we choose not to see evidence in God, does not mean he is not there. What the scientific community knows, or thinks it knows, today will not be what it knows in a year, let alone a decade or a century.

I also think it is silly for people of religion to dismiss science. Just because Hawkings' A Brief History of Time was not written by Moses or Paul and included in the Bible does not make it a lie. To say that God took 65 million years or longer to create the earth instead of snapping his fingers or wiggling his nose like a pop culture wizard, does not take away any of the awe and wonder we should have in the Creation.

And I was wondering what I was going to be grateful for today! I am grateful for my faith. I am grateful that it is not exclusionary. I am glad that rationality has a place in my belief system. But also that all the competing theories and breakthroughs and changes in scientific understanding will not whip me about like a boat on a stormy sea. All the theories and mysteries of the universe are secondary. They are fun to think about, but are not necessary for me to comprehend even a fraction, as long as I have faith in God and the Atonement of His Son.

BG3

I'm grateful for you, dear readers. Most, if not all, of you are very dear friends to me. Most of you I have known for over a decade, and a couple for much longer than that. We've got a lot of really good memories, both trivial and poignant. At least one of you has appreciated me not being judgmental, and I appreciate that in all of you towards me. I said how grateful I am for my family before. I don't know my extended family real well, not like some of you know yours. I wish I knew them better. But all of you I consider to be my extended family; you are more than just friends.

Being Grateful II

I'm thankful for the ward I attend. Tim has posted about what makes a good ward on his blog, and I made comments on what I thought. I felt like the wards that I attended in Provo got progressively better. Maybe it was my understanding of how wards worked that grew, maybe I just matured, or maybe they actually were better. Anyway, when I moved to this area last year, I was not thrilled to be starting at yet another singles ward. I was coming off a rough patch after my time in Denver and New York, and it took me a while to warm up to the ward in Lehi. The ward was big and I felt kind of lost in the crowd. Also, my first impression of that bishop was way off base, but I didn't find that out for three months though. Just when I found out my bishop was a good man that I could trust, the ward was dissolved. Arrgghh! Another new ward, and another new bishop to feel out. It hasn't turned out so bad. Despite not being in a ward with my best friends anymore, this ward rivals the last couple of Provo wards. There is nobody in the ward that I dislike, and many that I like a lot. And the bishop is great. I feel that he was drawn to this place by the Lord to be called as the bishop of this ward at this time. He is a spiritual giant, and a soft-hearted, sensitive, sometimes silly man. I've made many good friends here, people that, under different circumstances, I'd never think to be friends with.

Being Grateful in the Face of Adversity

So, on top of my mother's divorce proceedings, we found out today that her business partner passed away on Saturday. This is a mighty blow as he was the money handler and technical wizard behind their web business. He had been in poor health for some time, but they had never made a contingency plan if one of them died or otherwise could not continue. She had no access to the company accounts, nor any clue on how to take care of the technical end of things. No one can take his place, only he knew how everything on their site fit and worked together.

It seems like the hits keep coming lately, now the new ones come before the old ones are over.

Which brings me to the subject of this post. How can we stay grateful in the face of adversity? How did our pioneer forebears handle the excruciating sacrifice of traveling to the Salt Lake Valley? Dealing with the loss of loved ones, how were the early saints able to press forward? Why didn't they just curl up and die, or turn around and head back home?

Sometimes, it is easy to be grateful, it doesn't really take any effort. But other times, we need to be willfully grateful. We need to look explicitly for things to be grateful for. What I want to do is post everyday until Christmas. Each post will include one thing I am grateful for. I'm hoping that by the time Christmas comes, the gratitude I show then will be easier to express than it is at the moment.

I'll make this one easy:

I am grateful for my family that loves me, and who I love as well. No matter what comes against us, we have one another. Right now, my mom is taking the brunt of these challenges, so I try to support her. in the past and in the future, it'll be me who takes the brunt, and I'll require her or my brother for support.

Good Sometimes

A comment on the previous post made me think about a conversation I was a part of the other day. My mom and I were talking with our neighbor about parenting (I was mostly listening). And my mom mentioned how sometimes when she would get mad at me and my brother, she would yell, and sometimes scream. And then she would feel terrible, like she was a failure, that she wasn't a good mother. One day when I was very young, she was feeling particularly bad about her perceived failures when she walked in on me watching Mister Roger's Neighborhood. I was singing a version of a song I heard on the show. I have included in it's entirety at the end of this post. I sang:

Sometimes kitties are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same kitties who are good sometimes
Are the very same kitties who are bad sometimes.

Sometimes mommies are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same mommies who are good sometimes
Are the very same mommies who are bad sometimes.

A lot of times, we think in terms of black and white. Things are either good, or they are bad. When we do good things we feel we are on top of the world. But when we make bad decisions, we forget or discount the good things that we have done, and we just focus on the bad things. We can bring ourselves down pretty low, even to the point of feeling worthless. I think it is hard for us to reconcile the fact that good people can make bad decisions, especially within ourselves. Even Nephi of old dealt with this issue. "Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul greiveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me." (2 Ne 4:17-18) See the rest of 2 Nephi 4 because it has a lot to do with the rest of the post.

I think it is important to remember we have dual natures. The classic cartoon representation of this is a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. We need to realize that we are good, we just make mistakes. We need to realize that the good advice we give each other is the same advice we need to follow in our own lives. When people compliment me, one of the first things I do is think, "If only you knew about X, if only people knew." I know I am a good person, but reconciling that with my bad choices is hard to do. I'm not saying that we need to accept the bad, live with the bad, wallow in the bad. What I think we need to accept is that we are good. Live with the good. Wallow in the good. We have a great aid in doing this. We celebrate his birth in about 3 weeks. We need to trust in Him. I don't say this because I am particularly good at it, because I'm not. But It's what I would tell anyone else, so why shouldn't I follow it?

So I want to ask what you think. What do you do to reconcile the differences within yourselves? And if you have a hard time doing that, what advice would you give me? And then I would challenge you to turn around and follow that advice.

Again, here are the lyrics to the song I sang a real long time ago. It helped my mom remember that she was not a bad mother. Hopefully, it will remind you that you aren't bad either.

Sometimes People Are Good

Sometimes people are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same people who are good sometimes
Are the very same people who are bad sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

Sometimes people get wet.
And their parents get upset.
But the very same people who get wet sometimes
Are the very same people who are dry sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

Sometimes people make noise
And they break each other's toys.
But the very same people who are noisy sometimes
Are the very same people who are quiet sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

Sometimes people get mad
And they feel like being bad.
But the very same people who are mad sometimes
Are the very same people who are glad sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

Sometimes people are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same people who are good sometimes
Are the very same people who are bad sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me...
Isn't it the same for you?

© 1967 Fred M. Rogers