Tabling Things For Awhile

Why is it easier to talk about things, i.e. feelings for another person, after the potential for a relationship with that person is cut off? I do know why, because there is no more risk involved, there is no more pressure. But why does it have to be that way? Ever since people developed finding pools of more than one, it has been this way. Wouldn't it be easier and more effective if it was no big thing to know how much interest someone had in you from the beginning? That it was no big deal to be perfectly honest with another person about your feelings for them? People wouldn't be getting their hopes up just to be dashed later on, they would know right away.

Instead, we all play this game, whether intentionally or not. He complimented me this way. She touched me here. He helped me do this. She sat next to me at the party. He didn't make eye contact. She sounded bored. It just goes on and on.

It has to be for some reason though. Every single person has to deal with it to some extent or another. It's not like it is some unique phenomenon to one person. So obviously, it must be important to the human experience... somehow... It's "opposition in all things" in action. Help people appreciate something truly good when it finally works out. Well, if that's the case, then I know some people that are going to be seriously appreciative at some point. Because I've been picking up this theme a lot recently, from quite a few different sources.

Actually, based on the timing of things falling apart for me, again, I know exactly what is going on, for me at least. It's a test. A test that I've been given time and time again. One that I haven't exactly passed with flying colors. It's either: a girl comes into my life and motivates me to get things straight, or I've decided to get things straight and then a girl comes along. Either way, they are taken away to see how I react. Will he keep doing the things he needs to for the right reasons in the absence of the girl? And unfortunately, I don't have a great track record to this point. But then, if I did, maybe I wouldn't be given the test as often, if at all. So now I am more cognizant of this particular test, I should be expecting the girls to start lining up soon, right? But I'll still have to deal with the game though. I certainly can't expect that to change all of a sudden.

Oh yeah, I've missed a couple of days of gratitude posts. Trying to catch up feels intimidating at this point though, so I'm not going to try to do so today. I'll just do one for today.

I'm grateful for second chances. And third chances. And fourth chances. And Umpteenth chances. Everyone deserves another chance. I'm grateful for all the chances I've been given. Life would be too depressing otherwise. I'd never have hope for something good. Everyone deserves something good, right?