BYU 17 - UCLA 16 (Barely)

Pseudo Play-by-Play

Byu turnover on 1st pos
Goalline stand-ucla fg good
U 3 b 0
Collie 26 he ret
Pitta 12 rec
Unga 5 run
Byu punt-ucla 11
U punt
Collie 22 rec
Pitta 8 rec
Fg byu good
U 3 b 3
U punt-byu 31
Reed 6 rec
Pitta 3 rec
Unga 5 yds 3 rd conv
Fui 6 yds
Unga 5 rec
Unga 3 yds
Byu punt byu recovers on ucla 14
Collie td xp good
U 3 b 10
Criddle pass brkup
Pop pass brkup
U punt-byu 44
Tonga 3 yds
U penalty
Unga 6 yds
Unga 9 rec
Unga 1 yd-short
Byu to downs
Ucla fg good
U 6 b 10
Collie 44 ret
Unga 13 rec
Hall 2 yds-3rd conv
Semanoff 9 rec
George 9 rec-3rd conv
U penalty 1st dn
Reed td-xp good
U 6 b 17
U punt-byu 8
Unga fumble on 4
U td-xp good
U 13 b 17
Hodgkiss 4 yrd tfl
Jorgensen 10yd sack
U punt u 44
Collie 9 rec
Byu punt u 11
Nixon 10 yard sack
U punt Y 3
Tonga 17 yds
Pitta 9 rec
Tonga 2 yds-3rd conv
Unga 7 yds
Y punt-u 32
Hodgkiss int
Semanoff 8 rec
Unga 7 yds
Tonga 1 yd
Collie 9 rec
Unga 1 yd
Hall sacked 6
Y punt-u 17
U punt-y 13
Y punt - y 46
U fg good
U 16 Y 17
Pitta 5 rec
Y punt u 29
Collie 30+ rec
George 3 rec
Collie 7 rec
Y punt down on u 2
U last second fg no good!
U 16 y 17!

Sent from my iPhone!!!!

Looking Forward

I am looking forward to several things in the near future. I look forward to getting into a new routine. When I go home, I'll again be at my mother's house, but I will take a more active role there. Money has been tight there for the last little while, and without getting into many details, I'll be helping out with that in a couple of ways. Also, I look forward to going back to school. I have taken so much time off and it hasn't gotten me much closer to financing my own education, until recently. However, the school I want to go to is a lot more expensive personally than BYU was. That is a bit intimidating but I am committing myself right now to do what it takes. I've been saying that I would go back to school now for a couple of years, and then I push my timetable back for one reason or another, but the buck is stopping here. I feel like I have held myself back long enough, and I hope that you, my friends, will hold me accountable.

I look forward to being home for the holidays, to seeing old friends and making new ones. I look forward to having a life outside of my job. I look forward to supporting my teams from the sidelines rather than from my computer. I look forward to being more involved and not falling back on old tired habits that keep me in place. I look forward to getting active and trimming down.

I look forward to getting back into a stable church setting. I have taken a step back the last six months or so from regular church activity, and I am feeling the toll of this. I have no excuse that can hold any water, all the reasons I have given myself over this span are empty. I feel myself to be at a spiritual low, and I want that to change. I have been somewhat reluctant to be open about this with anyone, for fear that those of you whose friendship I value would think less of me. But I realize that I am only doing myself a disservice trying to act like nothing is wrong. I worried that you may see that as some sort of betrayal of trust, and perhaps it is, but it only grows worse the longer the pretense continues. I have convictions and faith, I have just neglected them far too long.

Anyways, I have set down much more than I had planned when I started, and it is almost time for work. I guess these are my New Year's resolutions, but why wait till New Year's to get the ball rolling?

Let's See if it Works Now

This is now my third attempt at posting this image to my blog.

This is the curtain call for the showing of Wicked I went to on Wednesday. I liked it, but I should have enjoyed myself more than I did. I was worried about parking in a "no standing anytime" zone. Nothing happened to the car.

The Return, Part II

I just booked my return flight to Utah. I fly from Newark to Phoenix, have an hour layover, then fly to Las Vegas. Once in Las Vegas I have a weird eight hour layover before flying to Salt Lake. So, I figure since I'm in Las Vegas anyways, maybe I can slip over and catch the bowl game against UCLA. Who knew the bowl game would just happen to be at the same time as my layover. Hopefully, this will assuage some of my guilt for not being "fully invested". I'll be back in Utah on the 23rd. Go Cougars!

Living With Cliques

There seems to be a feud going on among the people I work with out here in NJ/NY. There is my friend Rob*, his wife Julie, his sister Heather, her boyfriend Tyler, Julie's friend Nikki, and me. Julie doesn't care for Tyler, so he and Heather do stuff on their own most of the time. Last week Nikki and I ended up going into the city with Heather and Tyler. We told Julie we were going, and that she could come. But I guess she didn't want to because of Tyler, and resented us going. Or rather she resented Nikki. Now she is ignoring Nikki for no real reason. I think I have mitigated any wrath Julie may have had toward me. I have tried not to go with one group more than the other. But I am having trouble keeping it up.

You see, I think Nikki has a thing for me, and I don't have it back. I would choose Rob and Julie, just to avoid her, but I share a room with Tyler, so that group is always over. I think that Nikki is starting to pick up that I am being a bit distant, I just hope she doesn't take it the wrong way. I have no problem being a friend, but that's all I care to be.

I thought I left this all behind a long time ago in public school. I am not yet counting down the days until I can go home like I did this summer, but it is getting close to that. At least the money is a lot better here than it was in Denver.

* - names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Testing

I think my posts from my iPhone don't allow comments. This post is a test of that theory.

I Have Joined the iPhone Nation

I have just joined the iPhone nation. I splurged today, and so far I have no buyers' remorse.

Travel Nightmare

So I was able to go home for Thanksgiving, and it was great to see some of you while in Utah. The Masked Mallard invited my family over to his parents' for Thanksgiving. I went to a couple of get-togethers, met some new people (Thanks for the invite Carona), watched the Big Game (BYU 17-Utah 10, in another last minute nail-biter), went on a date to the Messiah Sing-in at Abravanel Hall (Thanks for the invite Princessplumeria). I had lots of good, home-cooked food, stuffed myself on all kinds of pie, and had a great time all around.

And then I had to go back to New Jersey. I had worried about the flight from NJ to Utah, but not the flight back. I should have. I had an hour layover in Chicago that turned into a 3 hour layover, that turned into a cancelled flight, that turned into a 5 hour layover and rebooked flight to Minneapolis. In Minneapolis I had an hour layover with another airline turn into an hour and a half layover with a 45 minute wait on the runway. I finally got to Newark seven hours later than anticipated. And then, to add insult to injury, when I finally got to our hotel, I found that my driver's license was missing. Aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!! I stayed up another 2 hours trying to talk to different airports and airlines lost and found offices to track it down to not much avail. SLC didn't have it. Minneapolis had changed its number, and Chicago had an automated system that could take up to 10 business days to get back to me.

The next day I called the Utah DMV, and they said to get a replacement DL I have to be in Utah. That doesn't help me much here in NJ, especially since I use my DL to get through airport security. But they could send me a 'counter permit'. Which I just recieved today. But it looks kind of dubious, as the form is filled out by hand. At least it is better than nothing.

I called TSA and the recording said I could use other forms of ID to get through airport security other than my DL. So I can get through, I'll just need to go extra early on my trip back to account for any snags that might crop up.

If there is one thing I have learned from all this it is traveling around the holidays is a nightmare. Stay on the side of the country you are on for the holidays. And if not, give yourself plenty of time for travel or you could end up a total wreck.

Too Much Popular Media?

I guess I've seen too much TV and too many movies in my years. But then again, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Not in this case, but it had plenty of potential. We had the day off, so a group of us went into the city today. We took a ferry over from Jersey and then walked around Times Square. We ate at the Olive Garden, and I had the stuffed chicken prosciutto. Good stuff. Four of us ended up going down to Canal Street which is in lower Manhattan. This is the center of imitation merchandise in the city. There are street vendors around in all the tourist spots, but this is the mecca of cheap knock-offs.

Almost as soon as we get street level from the subway, this little chinese woman comes by and shows one of the girls a paper with a bunch purses on it, and asks, "want to see?" "Uh, sure..." And we were off. She takes us down this alley way for 2 or 3 blocks. This is starting to feel really shady, but we keep following. When she takes us into this building that she has to unlock to get into, I stay at the door, making sure it doesn't shut behind us. She stops and tries to talk us into continuing on with her. Her English is not great, which makes me nervous, big language barrier. "Come see purse, come see. No scared, come see." She was very insistent. But we go in. She takes us up 6 flights of stairs into a sweat shop. Wow! Definately not your normal tourist locale. It is night and several people are leaving for the day, so it is not super crazy in there, but there are still a few chinese ladies working on sewing projects. She takes us into a side room filled with purses. Chanel and Prada knock-offs. I stood at the door to make sure we weren't shut in or that some martial artists would take us totally by surprise. I didn't know what to expect...

When the girls decided upon a purse style, they asked for it in a different color. The lady got on her radio and then took us back to the street. This shady looking chinese man smoking a cigarette came up to us with the purse in a shopping bag. He wanted $35 for it, but they offered $30. He only went down to $34. I didn't like being in the alley so I stood apart from everyone else, so once more I could watch either end of the alley for any surprises.

Thank goodness my imagination was larger than life rather than accurate. Nothing happened, except we got ripped off and had an experience that not many people get.

(Editor's Note: The editor wishes to apologize for taking so long to post this entry. December 1, 2007)

Language Barriers

I was walking down the hall at my hotel tonight and passed a middle-aged couple going the other way. I did the kind of under the breath, "Hello" as I walked by, and the man replied, "Good Morning" in a German sounding accent. I kind of wondered about that for a second as I continued down the hall. Then I heard the wife wonder about it too, "Good Morning?" He responded to the effect of, "Ya, Gut nacht, good night; Guten tag, Good morning..." (Pardon my German, Tim)

Missed It...

...by that much.

Well, I'm not sure exactly how close the other car was, but it was pretty close. They finally had us go out and do some driving today, and I almost got in a wreck. It would have been my fault as well. We were trying to get from Staten Island to Long Island, and I saw a sign that I was wondering about when the girl in my car said, "Red...RED!" I slammed on my breaks, as did the car that had the right of way, and it was amazing that we did not collide. Miraculous even. I stopped right in front of them, and not even a tap on our fender. Oi vey!

And then we got stuck in Manhattan for an hour (Only an hour?) before extricating ourselves and getting back to Staten Island. Manhattan is definately a night drive location.

Got to see Wood, Woodine, and MaryP last night. The conditions were not ideal, but it was good to see them nonetheless.

Oh, and New Jersey does not smell that bad where we are, but down by the Goethals Bridge to Staten Island it reeks! Just nasty! It had been raining all day too and if anything it smelled worse. In other places the rain usually washes that kind of stuff away, but not in Jersey!

New York, New York

A town so crazy they named it twice. More about that in a moment.

Got in to Buffalo Sunday night and the weather was way nice. Went to Niagra Falls that night and snapped a few pics. It was after dark, so the falls were all lit up. They say that the Canadian side is a better view, but the line up of cars to the Canadian side was ridiculous, not to mention the line to get back in to the US. Yesterday we took off for Albany. We decided to stop in Palmyra on our way. But before we made it to Palmyra we got word that we were not going to Albany after all, but that we needed to go directly to New York. That was good as we only had so much time to get to Albany, but none to get to New York. So we were able to take a little more time in Palmyra.

I had never been before so it was cool that we got to go. It was a perfect time to go. The weather was still warm and the leaves were changing. Greens, yellows, oranges, and reds. And it was that way all the way to New York.

We are actually staying in New Jersey as the hotels are much cheaper there. We ate at Ruby Tuesdays and the service was not very good. That's the word around here that the service is not great in these parts. Which makes no sense, don't people want tips?

Today we drove into the city to get our cars outfitted for testing here. That was crazy! I am glad we will be going at night because traffic is nuts. I was following behind everyone with no idea where I was supposed to end up. We went through the Lincoln Tunnel and when we popped out I lost track of the car in front of me and had 3 choices of which way to go. So I just crossed my fingers and took a route and miraculously ended up right behind the right car. We had to cross Manhattan and I was NOT letting anyone come between me and them. I became a New York driver for 20 minutes. And now we are just sitting around waiting for the cars to be done. It sounds like this is going to be an adventure here. More news later!

Confirmation

I just recieved word that I am needed first in Buffalo to drive one of the test vehicles to Albany to be setup for testing in NYC. I am flying on the 21st. We'll probably be getting in to NYC sometime mid week. I'll kind of have to play it by ear on whether I can get out to Connecticut before the 27th. Something tells me with all the preparations being made, our east coasters are not making a quick jump down to the Big Apple, so I'll have to see if I can get out there.

Interesting Development

So all summer long, I felt like I just wanted to come back to Utah. But the timing of things was somewhat off. I missed enrolling at UVSC by a few weeks, and ended up staying at home while looking for work and a place of my own. It was good to come back and see my friends here on the weekends. But I found myself in a bit of limbo. I had no intention of staying a home as long as I have, but the job search wasn't as productive as I had wanted. I found a company I would have liked to have worked for, but I wasn't what they were looking for apparently, because they never got back to me after I interviewed. I was going to start searching again in earnest, when something came out of left field. A week and a half ago, on sunday night my mom told me I had a call from a family friend we had from our time in Florida. Turns out she was calling in behalf of her son who had just been made a project manager out in New York. It seems things had not gone the way they were intended, and he wanted to bring in people he trusted. This is the same company I worked for in Tallahassee, FL a year and a half ago. They need me to be a navigator for their drive testing in New York City. The thing is that the timing with this company is always up in the air. You never know how long their projects are going to last. Or when they are going to start. My friend made it seem like he wanted me ASAP, but his boss has been more vague about when I needed to be out there. But once it starts it should run at least until Thanksgiving, if not the end of the year. The pay will be good, there should be overtime, as well as per diem which is not taxed. But that means missing Ben's wedding just like I missed Tim's this summer. Hopefully though I can see a set of east coasters before they migrate west for the winter. (BTW, when does the migration start? I'd hate to just miss the exodus.) I just wish they would give me a specific time to be out there.

Pride Cometh Before the Fall

So BYU has shot itself in the foot for the second week in a row. Turnovers and penalties have been the downfall of the team for the last two weeks. The team has the skills to dominate, but not the mental toughness. Anyone who watched a game with me from 2002-04, knows how passionate I can get in regards to BYU football. The thing that was so frustrating during those years were the mistakes, the boneheaded penalties. More so than ineptitude, although that is no good either. This team is not inept, they were in it until the end, they had a chance the last two weeks. But critical miscues throughout the game and especially on the last drive kept BYU from leaving with a W. Over 200 yards in penalties the last two games, that is 2 football field lengths of going backwards.

Another thing that gets me is that during the weeks preceding the first two games against Arizona and UCLA, PAC-10 fans gloated about how much better their teams were, because of size, speed, and by virtue of playing in a tougher conference. The team showed that they were just as good as those others. But then this last week, I heard so many BYU fans start giving the exact same reasons that had been used against our team, as reasons why the team was going to dominate Tulsa. Bigger, faster athletes. Tougher conference opponents. There was talk of going undefeated for the rest of the season. While I think that it is possible, it just felt like fans, as well as some players on the team, lost sight of the fact that the season only goes by one game at a time, and that there is no room for being unprepared for any opponent, because on any given saturday, the amazing can happen. Appalachian State sure taught us that against Michigan. The team just has to prepare to be the one doing the amazing, and not allowing the other team.

I have mellowed greatly since those hard to watch games of a few years ago, but all the mistakes were still getting to me. I can accept when an opponent is clearly better through their play on the field. But I have a hard time when my thoughts start going through the woulda, coulda, shouldas.

The Return

Houston, the Eagle has landed!

Made it back without too much trouble. Now the trouble is figuring out what to do until January. Hmmm....

Signing Off

Just for the night, though. I need to pack the computer up for the trip to Utah, which I am starting before dawn tomorrow. I'll post again when I am safe and sound in Utah.

Done... Well Not Just Yet

I have completed my final installation! It is great. But I can't leave just yet. I felt I needed to get my car checked out before taking off. It's a good thing I did, because I might have gotten majorly stuck in the mountains if I hadn't. The passenger front tire was just about to burst when I took it in. They showed me where this nasty bulge was on the inside wall of the tire. It wouldn't have just gone flat, it would have blown out. Part of my axle needs to be replaced as well. If I had taken it in earlier, I might have been able to get it taken care of, but they couldn't get the part until tomorrow morning. I should also get the seals replaced on the transmission and have my suspension looked at, but that is not as dire a need as the other repairs. But it leaves a empty feeling in my gut knowing that so much money is being spent on my car, something I have already paid for. Oh well, better safe than sorry, and better here than out in the boondocks where I would be at the mercy of some remote mechanic.

Rise a Little Higher, Shout a Little Louder

I am majorly ticked off right now! I just checked the company site and found out that there have been 8 installs this week and that I am responsible for only one of them! I have sat here all week thinking that things were just being slow. But apparently the powers that be seemed to have forgotten that I was around, desperately waiting for a couple more jobs, and gave the work to others that are here for the rest of the month! I told people that I was going to stay until I hit my level. I told the office manager here in Denver, I told the Vice President of the company, I talked to a person in scheduling, I had a job yesterday that cancelled, it's not like it wasn't known that I was here. And yet, somebody got two installs yesterday and one today! If I don't get paid for this week I will be outraged! And if I hadn't checked the company site, how long would it have gone on for? Argh! The company is so disorganized, it's right hand doesn't know what its left hand is doing! And it has been this way the whole time! I tried to calm the other techs down when they started complaining, but its finally getting to me. I could have been long gone by now! But I should not have been naieve enough to think that the company would try to help me out here, even though that is one of it's stated missions. I should have been pestering them this whole time.

Slow Days

It looks like I am staying in Denver even longer than I thought. I needed to come back to get a few more installs to reach my level. I thought it would happen pretty fast once I got back, like I would be packing up and heading out today. But I have spent the last two days waiting for an install to come up and nothing. My install today is not 'til 5pm, and that only because I talked to someone in Scheduling and had them take it from someone else and give it to me. I don't feel bad about this as he will be staying all of September, and the sooner I can leave, the less competition he'll have for his own installs. I just don't know how long it will take for me to get the number of installs I want. But if Northstar continues to pay me a weekly salary, I guess I can live with that.

The biggest thing is that I'll probably have to be here over the weekend again, ugh.

BYU 20, UofA 7

I just got back to Denver from my 'vacation' in Utah. It was an expensive little trip, But I'm glad I went. I would have been bored to tears out here. As it is, I totally forgot about Labor Day and should have extended my stay another day, as I don't think there will be any installs to do today.

The game was fun. It was really hot, but I went prepared with sunscreen and lipbalm, so I wasn't totally fried. There were alot of questions going into this game. How well would Max Hall step into John Beck's shoes? Who would replace Curtis Brown at runningback? What about the tight ends without Johnny Harline and Daniel Coats? How much rust does Austin Collie have after two years in Argentina? How would BYU handle Arizona's new offense?

Hall went 26-39 for 288 yards, 2 touchdowns, and no interceptions. Not bad for not playing in an actual game in four years.
Harvey Unga made a strong case for himself filling the role Brown left, running for 68 yards on 15 carries, and catching 9 passes for 127 yards. He scored two touchdowns on the day. Tight end play was solid with Vic So'oto and Dennis Pitta combining for 66 yards and 1 touchdown. While he didn't have a huge game compared with his freshman year, Collie showed some moves on his 4 catches for 41 yards. BYU's defense was up for what turned out to be not much of a challenge. Arizona had implemented an offense very similar to BYU's over the off-season. It was somewhat reminiscent of BYU's first game with their offense two years ago against Boston College. The only score came when there was less than a minute in the game. Arizona's O will get better as the season progresses, but no one should have expected very much in it's first game.

BYU faces a bigger challenge in UCLA next week in Pasadena, CA. They will be facing former Cougar and star recruit Ben Olson, who transferred to UCLA after serving his mission. Olson threw five TDs against a weak Stanford team in a 45-17 blowout. I just need to find someone with the cable station Versus so I can watch the game.

Roll Credits

"Cause

Two (two) heads (heads) are better than one
(woo hoo hoo)
It's double the pleasure babe
It's triple the fun
I said
Two (two) heads (heads) are better than one
(better than one)
It'll make you come undone
Two heads are better than one"

-Power Tool, end credits Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

At this time I have two days to get three installs. I don't think that it's going to happen frankly. So that means staying out here a little while longer to solidify that install total and insure my pay bump. This makes me unhappy, because I really wanted to be back on Saturday for the BYU vs. AZ game. They are also retiring Ty Detmer's jersey at halftime. So to both get my installs, catch the game, and take a quick breather, I found cheap last minute plane tickets on Orbitz. Roundtrip tickets and a rental car for two days will run me about $250. That'll also give me a chance to take as much time as I need to get my car checked out, pack, and drive back instead of rushing around like a chicken with it's head cut off. My flight arrives about 10am on Saturday and leaves about 11am on Monday. I decided to go with a rental car so I can be completely free to come and go and not force anybody to be my taxi service. So I hope some of you are available for hanging out after the game and on Sunday. See you soon.

Five Golden Rings! Bada da da...

Workdays: 5
Installs: 137
Average to finish: 1.6

Well, It may be five and a half work days, at which point the average to finish would be 1.4545455. Apparently noon on the 31 is the last scheduable slot. I also should have my car serviced before heading back, there is a maintenance required indicator on my dashboardand it has gone from green-yellow to orange, and in the last week or so, to red since being out here. Probably just needs an oil change as I've gone over 180,000 miles. I was kind of hoping to have the whole day on the 31st to take care of packing up and leaving to make it back for the 3:30pm Kickoff for the BYU vs. AZ game on September 1st. Now it'll be pushing it. Oi vei!

Seven Swans a Swimming...

Workdays: 7
Installs: 133
Average to finish: 1.7142857

So I've been rather disgruntled about my time in Denver. Long hours, high expectations, not enough work, I could go on or a while. Anyways, I've been looking forward to the time I could leave the company behind. Last night the head technician who is in town starts talking to the other guy in my apartment about coming back as a lead tech next year. There are alot of incentives. The other guy feels even more strongly about not coming back than I do. Well, he starts thinking about it after hearing some of the details. And I think to myself, "Nothing can convince me to come back." But then I think about the incentives, and decide if they open an office in Philadelphia that I might think about coming back. Then I go to my first install today and it takes 10 hours. The sales guy told them it would take 1. I had to re-talk them into getting the system at one point. But I wasn't so sure that our system was better than theirs. But I did it because I need the install to make my goal before I leave. I didn't like that feeling at all. After talking things over with the head tech we found a way to make things better for them, but I still don't like that feeling that I had to re-sell the system when it wasn't going to be what they were lead to believe it was. Ick.

...Four and Four Make Eight...

Workdays: 8
Installs: 132
Average to finish: 1.625

9...

Workdays: 9
Installs: 131
Average to finish: 1.5555556

10...

Workdays: 10
Installs: 129
Average to finish: 1.6

Editor's Note

The editor of Risin' and Shoutin' wishes to qualify a comment made in the August 14th post "I Am Seventeen Going On Sixteen..." The last sentence reads, "Though several have also spent the summer away, I can't wait to reconnect in a more personal way than just reading your blogs." While personal interaction is preferable to blog reading, it is the editor's desire to state that he is glad that so many dear friends choose to blog and comment on each others' posts. He only wishes more would follow suit as it has proven invaluble (In-famous is when you're MORE than famous!) to keeping up with such a wide spread group.

T-Minus Eleven Days and Counting

Due to popular demand, I'll be trying to post a countdown-countup everyday til I go home. Ok, ok, it was one suggestion, but I liked it, and I hope you do too.

Workdays remaining: 11
Installs to date: 127
Average # of installs per day to reach goal: 1.636363636363

I Am Seventeen Going On Sixteen...

do do di do di dooo...

Seventeen days and counting. I have seventeen days until my indentured servitude expires, and I become a free man once again. Well, actually my term is being measured by two sets of numbers, days and installs. I am so close to hitting 140 that I have decided to stay my full term or hit 145 installs, whatever comes second. I need to hit 140 for the next tier on the payscale. But I want to get a few more just to insure that I will get it. It could be possible that a few of my installs don't actually qualify, so instead of having 140 I end up with 137 or so and that would be a difference of approximately $2k. Thankfully, it's starting to look like I won't actually have to stay on for a few extra days to hit my goal. I have 15 workdays to get 24 more installs. If I can get three installs every two days I will be just under my goal. If I get 2 a day that'll put me comfortably at 150 or so. My renewed optimism is due to the fact that there are only 3 technicians left, and I have been scheduled out for two installs yesterday and today, which I hope will continue.

I would be very displeased if this job kept me from attending the BYU vs AZ game in Provo on September 1. I am eager to see BYU reload rather than rebuild for a change after a stellar season. In 1997, the year after BYU won more games in a season than any other team before or since ('96 record was 14-1), they went 6-5. In 2002, after going 12-2 n '01, they went 5-7. I would be thrilled to witness back-to-back double digit win seasons for the first time since '89-'90.

I would also really like to see all my friends back in Utah. It's been way too long. Though several have also spent the summer away, I can't wait to reconnect in a more personal way than just reading your blogs.

Holding on to the Bitter End

And boy is it bitter. Sales seem to be slowing, just at the time they should be speeding up. I wanted 180 installs for the summer, and now it looks like I'll be lucky to hit 140. That is a difference of thousands of dollars for me. I'm still making more than I would have in Provo, but not anywhere near the amount I was expecting to get. But I have also sacrificed my social life for this job as well. I'm on call from noon to 9, so if I start something and then get a job, I have to drop what I'm doing and go. So I haven't gotten to know anybody very well here. I can't wait for the summer to be over. At least then I can start having a social life again.

Making and Breaking

I told my friend that I would come to his wedding open house. I told him weeks ago. But my company will not let me take the time off. This is partly because I didn't ask for it off when I told my friend that I would be there. I finally asked earlier this week. And the answer was that they couldn't afford to let me go for the weekend in the busiest office in the company. Except this has been a slow week, but the chance could be that there will be a lot of work to do. A chance. That is the part that gets me. So much depends on things that are beyond my control. But if I would have asked two weeks ago, I would probably be going. So a lot depends on me too.

I found out that I have the second most installs in Denver, and rank 7th in he company. This with one of the longest install-time averages in the company. One of my friends here has consistently had shorter install-times than me yet he has 15 fewer installs. I don't understand how that can be. It's all about timing I guess. Now he is thinking of going back to Provo. If he does, that'll mean more work for me (Yuck) and that means more money (Yay). It would also mean 1 less friend in a place where I don't have time to cultivate new friendships. So I have mixed feelings about it. But he has to do what is right for him.

Impressive

The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...
[cut to Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik]
The Impressive Clergyman: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...
[cut to the trio again]
The Impressive Clergyman: So tweasure your wuv.
Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?
[cut to the trio once more]
The Impressive Clergyman: ...and do you,Pwincess Buwwercup...
Prince Humperdinck: Man and wife. Say man and wife.
The Impressive Clergyman: Man an' wife.

It's funny, another friend just got married, and right around my birthday. That makes three now. It seems that of the original UP 11 boys, only the Mallard and I are left standing. The oldest and the youngest of the group. Mallard, I hope you like June weddings, cause that seems to be the trend. Ol' Hungry Eyes is the one outlier of the group getting married in September.

Another year has come and gone, c'est la vie.

Negativity

I have been feeling rather negative lately. It is a self-perpetuating state of mind to be in. I have started a couple posts tonight that had derisive, sarcastic, and otherwise dark observations. One didn't post because my network connection failed, and I noticed how disparaging my last one was going. I am glad I caught it before it was published.

Peoples is Peoples

I meet new people every day here in Denver. Everyday another security system to install in another home. I haven't had to install a system for any jerks yet *knock on wood*, though I think most people get concerned when an installation goes much over 5 hours. Most do not go that long anymore thank goodness. I get most done between 4 and 5 hours. That is for our wireless system. Our hard-wired systems take substantially longer. It mostly depends on how well the system is labeled before I get there. If it is not well labeled then it takes really long.

As I was saying I meet a lot of new people all the time. Most are nice, most are interesting. I had one install in an Indian home on Saturday. It smelled so good, like curry. They were watching some channel that was all Indian programming. As I was working, I overheard some music from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! I mentioned that I had seen that movie and they were very surprised. I had to tell them of my good friend the Masked Mallard and how he is in their home country for the third time. I didn't make any comments on how I felt about the run time of film. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I still feel if you cut out all the dance/music numbers you will have less than half of the movie. ;)

As for meeting people at church, that is going more slowly. We actually had been going to one singles ward thinking it was the only one in the area. We have since learned that there are several, almost one per stake. Not only did we learn there was others, but that there was one that was much closer to the apartment.

Well, in the first ward we went to, we started to get to know this one group of girls. One of them likes one of us. But her friend and I don't mesh real well. We went over to the friend's house earlier this week, and started working on a puzzle. I started turning all the pieces face up and laying them out in one layer on the coffee table. I work on a puzzle maybe once a year, so I don't know all the secrets of proper puzzle completion. Apparently, you are supposed to remove all the side pieces first without the middle pieces to get in the way. I was separating the side pieces, just keeping all the pieces on the table. The girl gave me a hard time about this, which made me want to push on the way I was going. But when pressed again, I told her she could remove the middle pieces if she wanted. She did not and told me I could continue the way I had been proceeding. At the first she was not an active participant, so I didn't hear too much more on the subject. After about 45 minutes, she decided to sit down and work on it. Again she gave me a hard time about my puzzle method and questioned how often I worked on puzzles. I reminded her that she could remove the middle pieces if she wanted, and again she declined, but she did not drop her criticism. I said we could start over if she wanted, but she said you never restart a puzzle. When she asked if all the edge pieces were out I started to say we had the corner pieces, but stopped myself to say that I thought we did have most if not all of the edge pieces out. But she cut in and ridiculed the fact that we had the corner pieces saying that was only so much help. Now this girl is rather sarcastic most of the time, but I could not tell how much she was joking and how much she was serious. She does puzzles all the time and has the completed ones hanging around her place. So when she made her remark about the corner pieces I had had enough. I felt I was being backed into a corner, and I could only see two situations, bith being unpleasant, but one worse than the other. So I got up and told my friend it was time to go. He thought I was joking, and maybe I was a little. But then she made a remark about my sensitivity, so I really did want to leave. I played my displeasure up higher than it really was, which makes me feel bad. I need to apologize. But I still feel a twinge of offense when I think about the situation. I feel it would be hard not to make some remark about how I felt I was treated.

I think I can forgive and move past this, but I don't particularly want to pursue a friendship with this person. Is that wrong? I feel the situation could continue if I made myself available for more social interaction with her, just based on our personality types. We probably would not have gotten into the situation if we weren't operating in conjunction with our friends. I'm not sure how to remedy the situation.

Expectations Miscalculated

Well, this has been a lot harder and more frustrating than imagined. I'm sure things will be fine in a little while, but right now it sucks. sometimes 14+hr workdays, no time to eat, and not a lot of support from anyone knowledgable (sp?). Now I know what the phrase 'thrown to the wolves' is reffering to.

Denver

Made it to Denver safe and sound.

Potentially Unanswered Question

"Mr. Owl, How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
"One...Two...Three...Crunch!!! Three."

How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.

So there is this really nice girl in my ward. I've known her since September or so. Ever since we were first introduced she has been quite friendly to me. More so than I would have given her credit for based on my initial impression. I've felt like asking her out for a long time, but for various reasons I have not. Mostly I have felt like she is out of my league, on a number of levels. She has always been very friendly, but recently she has seemed more than just friendly. There has been some playful banter, and a little of what I percieve to be flirting. I like the thought of that.

However, it has been observed that she is a genuinely nice person. I am not saying the being genuinely nice is bad, on the contrary I find it to be an asset. But it does make me wonder about what I have been percieving. Am I projecting false intent on her actions, or is it really there? If I was staying in Provo, I could really put this to the test, but I am not. I am leaving in less than a week and will be gone for four months. I have alot to do before I leave. I wonder about trying to put this to the test before I go, but what good will it do me? If I find that I am imagining things, no harm done. But if I find that I am not, there is nothing to be done about it. I can't start a relationship and then leave, and expect that feelings are the same when I return. Neither do I think it wise to change my plans at this point based on the chance that something serious COULD develop. I NEED the money that I can make this summer in Denver. I do not want to jeopardize the chance to go back to school without having to work at the same time. Especially if it weren't to work out. As it stands, I've not been in a relationship that lasted more than 2 months.

And I still think she is out of my league. Not that she is 'high maintenance' in her attitude, but I think she is accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Also, I feel she has it together spiritually, more so than I do at the moment. Not that she is condecending, like I said she is genuinely friendly. But I feel inadequate. Yet I also hate the idea that she may be interested, but because I don't do anything about it now, her interest will wane. Frustration.

The Problem with Cows

I've never seen a purple cow.
I never hope to see one.
But, I can tell you anyhow;
I'd rather see, than be one!

A few years ago, I started performing a little skit. It was meant to be done at a church talent show, but the event was overbooked, and I was too nervous to do it anyway. But I'd worked so hard to get it memorized, that I wanted, needed, to do it for some people. My friends let me subject them to my performance not knowing what they were in store for. Though I messed up a little, it was a resounding success. Or perhaps it has turned out to be a disaster. Not a real disaster, but a "Ha ha, the joke's on you!" kind of thing. It was a success, because everyone loved it. It has proven to be disasterous because...everyone loved it. They wanted me to do it again. They wanted me to do it when they introduced me to new people. They wanted me to do it at parties. I didn't want to be known as the 'cow' guy. So I refused. And when my friends' requests became fervent, so did my refusals. But every once in awhile I would pull it out again. One, because it is a fun skit. And two, because I now have it memorized, so it's easy. But every time, the cycle begins anew. Everyone loves it, so they all want me to do it again. Or they tell people about it who weren't there for the performance. That is the worst. Knowing that it has been hyped up for these people, knowing there is no margin for error. I don't do it at the drop of a hat, but somehow I let myself be talked into doing it again, if only for special occassions. Why don't I learn?

Riding in Car[s] with... Myself

Since I be came the sole owner of my '93 Honda Accord at approximately 4:30pm today, I haven't had the chance to have anyone else in MY car. My dad gave me a car a few years ago, but it was still legally his car. I thought of it as my car, but it was still his. This is MY car and it feels good. Granted there are all the responsibilities that come with it, but that doesn't change the fact that I like it. And it looks nice. I like it better than my old car. It sits higher which is nice, it has a peppy little engine, plenty of room, and it has power everything! Or at least power everything for a '93. The seats aren't powered, but that's about it. I'm going to have to work to keep the interior as nice as it is now. The good news is that alot of the dark smudges I noticed on the exterior will wash off. And I really enjoy the feeling of independence it gives me. I can come and go as I please, which sets my mind at ease in social situations. It allows me to relax knowing that if I want to I can go at any moment, and in relaxing I am more likely to stay. And I don't have to take 'my ride' into consideration. "I'd love to stay and talk, but it looks like my ride is leaving, sorry." It's a real good feeling.

On the Road Again... and Other Thoughts

I will soon be leaving the ranks of transportationally challenged! Hopefully my loan will be approved today and I can take possession of my "new" car on Tuesday. I am purchasing a '93 Honda Accord, 5-speed manual transmission and power everything! The car is in as good of shape as a 14 year old car could be expected to be in. No more bumming rides from people, independence will be nice. And much more expensive, but oh well. Nothing in this life is free, you just have to decide if the price is worth it.

As for the 'Other Thoughts' portion, I just watched a video at my Mom's place called The Secret, and it is all about the power of positive thinking, feeling, and visualizing. But one of the things they talk about is the power of gratitude. That if we find and express gratitude for good things in our lives, no matter how little of those we think we have, more good will come our way. The video talks about a 'gratitude rock' to carry around with you. Not that there is any inherent value in the rock itself, but whenever you feel the rock in your pocket, you think of the things you are grateful for. It reminds me of the 'prayer rock' from Seminary or Primary. You know, the one you put on your pillow so when you go to bed you hit your head and then remember to pray. Then you put it on the floor, so in the morning you step on it and pray before doing anything else. I never really considered the 'prayer rock' as something practical, I'd just put the rock on the shelf and forget about it. But I think I'll try this out.

I was somewhat skeptical of this video, and at first it seemed to be all about taking things into your own hands and not relying on anything, or anyone, else. But while alot of what they talked about left God out of the equation in word, it did not specifically say to take Him out in practice. Just about everything they talked about could be practiced within the framework of religion. So I'm going to try and put some of these things into play, and we'll see what happens.

Rocky Mountain High

That's what I'll be experiencing this summer. I'm going to Denver to install security systems for a company called Northstar. There is potentially a lot of money to be made, but it'll be a lot of work too. The nice thing is that at least $6000 is guaranteed; everything else will be gravy. It'll really be nice to get away from Happy Valley for awhile. After going to a friend's reception just outside of Denver a few years ago, I've fallen for the natural beauty of Colorado. So it will be good to spend some extended time in the area to get a feel for the city, to see if it is a place that I could settle down somewhere down the road. Another place I would like to live is on the east coast, namely Philadelphia. I spent some time there last summer visiting my aunt. I liked the feeling of history there. It's more settled or established out there. The west seems so busy, so new in its cities. They are places where you can feel like you could leave you figerprints on, but eastern cities are more likely to leave their fingerprints on you. I also visited Boston and New York on that trip. Those places really have character. Which is not to say that all western cities feel the same; Salt Lake is very different from Los Angeles, which has a different feel than Seattle. But they still feel a little raw, a little green behind the ears so to speak.

Seeing the Forest Despite the Trees

I like to think I am a spontaneous person, I certainly don't like to plan anything too far in advance. But that's probably just self-justification for a general lack of self control. It certainly sounds better. I like to think that my belief system allows me to see the bigger picture of life, and I guess in an academic sence it does. But for someone who is supposed to have such great perspective, I have a hard time getting past the here and now. A couple of examples; I play a game all the time, it literally consumes my days and has for months. It is moderately entertaining, just enough to keep me coming back day after day, but in the long run I know it means nothing. In fact, in the short run it means nothing. I know I shouldn't play, it keeps me from doing other things with my time, I think it is even affecting my eyesight. But if I were to stop playing, I'd start doing something else that would keep me distracted. It's been the pattern in my life for a long time. It'll be a game, or a book, TV shows, movies, the internet, etc. Some of it benign, some of it bad. The point is that I'll do the things that I absolutely have to do, and then my spare time I fill with something, anything, to keep me distracted. I get in a rut. For someone as self-proclaimed spontaneous as I am, I sure do feel comfortable in a routine. Now I have done some random things in my time, I've picked up and just left a couple of times, did something different for a few months, but I always come back. And even when I am 'gone' the words are the same, they're just played to slightly different music.

Now recently I got this crazy idea to go teach english in Japan, do something really different. What I've found is that it is not real easy, or real legal for someone of my qualifications and financial status to do. There is one program that claims all you need is an ESL certificate for about $1K. But everything else I have found says that you need a Bachelor's, and the certificate is optional. One of the biggest things with the degree is that work visas are most easily procured by those with a degree, or three years experience in a given field. There are some places that will hire 'under the table' so to speak, but I would be looking over my shoulder the whole time. Besides, by the time I pulled together the money for the certification course, airfare, and a month of survival funds I'd have paid for almost two semester's worth of tuition. The thing is, I don't know if I'm being realistic or cowardly. The thought of saving and planning for that kind of thing makes me want to forget the whole thing, despite the fact that I felt really strongly about it when I first had the idea. Add to it that just about everyone I've told thinks it's a great idea makes me rather confused about the whole thing. If I had the wherewithal to go shortly after I had the idea, I probably would have done it.

There is something to be said about going through this recognition of my shortcomings, but why does it always seem like I only do so right before bed? I'll get up tomorrow and crawl out of bed with just enough time to get to work, got through the motions there until I am fed up, and by the time I am home will not be thinking the same thoughts I am now when I have the power to do something about my situation. Oh Bother! Here's to climbing out of my rut in the daytime.

Is it the 'Year of the Cougar'?

The Lunar New Year (AKA Chinese New Year) is fast approaching. For the last 4 years, my friends and I have celebrated, in our own way, Chinese New Year. It usually means staying up all night before our celebration working on our paper mache parade dragon. Then the next night we take the dragon down to BYU campus, parade around the WSC and then go out to a local Chinese restaurant. It is always very fun. Part of our tradition is to do the dragon mixed with the animal whose year it is. This year it is the year of the boar or pig. I forsee it being done in pink.

But I was wondering if perhaps this isn't the year of the Cougar. Only time will tell, but the '06-'07 athletic year is shaping up quite nicely for Cougar fans old and young alike. Major sports like football and basketball are seeing a renaissance of sorts. The football team put up a year that hasn't been seen in these parts for a long time. Basketball too is on pace to one of its better years ever, but that season has yet to play out. So too have the other sports the BYU is known for including: Cross Country, Volleyball ( men's and women's), and Softball. Men's Soccer, though a club sport has improved greatly since joining the semi-professional league.

Instead of a giant pink pig-dragon, perhaps we should do a Dark Blue Cougar Dragon and bring the new lunar year in with a roar!

Go Cougars!